im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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