oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
