you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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