I hate your face
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
