what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
