Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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