glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
