I got chris browned last night
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
