I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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