I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Randomize
