I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
