I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
