He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
