I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize