from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
