I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize