Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
