I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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