If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
