the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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