i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
