There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Randomize
