i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Pants 0. Shit 1.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
