Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
