you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
