She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
