I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
