return my video game
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
