GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
