well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
