summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Say something about gay babies.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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