real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
