Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
