Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I need water and some morals
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
