He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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