I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
