awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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