Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize