i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
