how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
