Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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