I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
