I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
