i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
