I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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