Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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