i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
either way he was missing a nipple.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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