Buhtt sex?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
