There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
