five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
