where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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