apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
