i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
These tits shall not be calmed
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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