I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
