addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
