Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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