I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
