Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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