I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
