he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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