I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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