Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
