like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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