I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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