but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize