Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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