Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
