If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize