Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
