i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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