Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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