Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
