So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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