i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
FUCK WHALES
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
