lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
