OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Randomize
