I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
