Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize